From Ruminations.com
Boy, would I love to see everything, anyone has ever written to me, but backspaced before sending.
Am I the only one whole feels like an Olympian every time I jump a 2 foot wide puddle? I always wanna throw my arms up when I stick the landing.
There are couch naps and bed naps. Bed naps are serious.
Few things annoy me as much as little "voicemail" icon on my phone. I have a voicemail? Who's the asshole who'd rather call than text? Now I have to dial things? ...damn.
I hate when I come up with a great invention, and then when I google it I find that not only has it already been invented, but they've been perfecting it for the last 20 years.
You would think one of these days I would learn not to put lotion on right as I'm trying to leave the house to avoid spending ten minutes turning a doorknob with my teeth.
She wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, the most colorful crayon in the box, or the brightest lightbulb in the lightbulb...storage...facility...place...
I wish it was both acceptable and profitable to put a "superior stalking ability" bullet on my resume.
It's too bad that being rude and being honest are usually one in the same.
There's a very thin line between having your foot out of the covers enough to even out your body temperature but not enough so it gets eaten by monsters.
1 special comments:
Sunday truths that I didn't get to until MoNdAy! It was a long weekend. I am so totes on board with the stalker on your resume deal, that was so you when I read it the other day, I immediately thought of you. Of course, you probably already knew this, but I had read most of these earlier this week and just knew they woudl be included!!!!!
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