Professor Thomas

Precious.

TGIF Randomness

Dear, Sweet Friday. I thought you would never come. Srsly. I was beginning to worry. I thought perhaps you'd left me forever. I'm so glad you found me again old friend. I missed you.

TGIF Randomness

1. I needed to break out the memory card in my camera to send a parent some pics of her kid's b-day class party tonight. Which turns out was waaay more interesting than I'd originally thought it would be b/c I found a lot of pics I didn't know (well to be honest- had forgotten) I had.



So first - I give you camera (and camera phone) randomness...



What a goober. And just LOOK at Thomas. See! He stares at Jason in an adoring manner too. Ok not really - he's probably plotting to lay and shed all over his 500 thread count comforter and then pee on it. - Nah actually - Thomas is just thinking "This shiz is hockO sticks. WHY does everyone keep taking pictures of me?!? And look at this crazy mother f***er right here [jen note: ahem... censor that -I like to keep it clean] ... crazy nutzo beside me. WTF?"

And speaking of Jason - Who Else would get it in their head to WAIT to start shopping for the FIRST Christmas present until 2 days before (which in turn made it so I had to postpone some of my own shopping)? And you KNOW how I L-O-V-E traffic. Yeah. This isn't even the worst of it. At least I had a legit excuse to drive like a psycho. [silver lining baby]

and what?!? Did I capture the all-elusive-picture-phobe Nick? I think I did. amazing.

The BEST. PART. EVER of shopping with Jason?

The Vest.

I mean this pic doesn't even begin to do the 2 sizes too small vest justice. Not. Even. Close. First of all - I talked him in to trying it on in the middle of the store. Second- it was all "fat boy in a little coat". I don't think I've EVER laughed that hard in a public place -not even caring that Jason was mortified (probably b/c it was all he could do to get the vest OFF since I was no help - Hey! Laughter can be debilitating) and everyone was staring at us trying to figure out why I was gasping-for-air-rolling-on-the-floor-dying-of-laughter-in-the-middle-of-the-store. Good Times I tell you. Good times.

Kate!!!

You always make my heart happy. No questions asked. I heart finding pics of you on my camera.

Thomas the Devil Cat.

Missy - you might have a point.

Irony=the borrowed Left Behind book is separated from the mountain of books Thomas chose throw/swat/kick onto the ground and then perch upon like it would burn him or something. [jen note: sorry Mrs. Phillips - I do treat your possessions with care - it's Thomas who has NO respect]

Proof

I mean that's some creepy horror movie PURE EVIL right there

"I'll eat your soul"

2. Kid funnies. Again.
Yes, I had them write to explain why they were in trouble. You'd think I'd be tired of this crap by now and that I wouldn't get a kick out of getting them to document their thinking. You'd be wrong my dear sweet naive friend. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I just like reading their reasoning. It really has nothing to do with punishing them - b/c to be honest it brings me serious LOLz. They never disappoint. Shhhh...just don't tell them.

Since I Fail at life using the scanner and these f-ers scanned really small and grainy- I'll read and translate:

I was not on green because I was talking in line. An(d) something else. I just don't remember.
When I have a kid....I want him to be as cool as this one. Srsly.
I didn't Want to Do math. time. But Next time I will. Do it. and I was playing With my coat

I don't know about you... but this one kinda makes me feel like I SUCK at teaching. I mean with as many periods he has in there - you'd THINK at least one of them would have found its way to the end of the sentence. Just a thought.




I was talking to the monitor. I telled on -----. I should not tell on nobody. I am sorry. I am in first grade. I am a big girl. I am a big girl.

What. The. Fu WTF?!? She's f-ing with me right!??! She totally STOLE my motto.

How did she KNOW that I sit in front of my mirror EVERY MORNING and give myself this pep talk: "You are a strong, confident woman. You can handle anything life throws at you today. You are smart, funny and you are rocking that crazy f-ed up hair style. You go girl. You are a first grade teacher. You are a big girl. You ARE a big girl. Big as in grown. Don't get a complex. Go get 'em tiger. You are a winner. Everyone wishes they could be 1/2 as cool as you."


No but srsly. How did she know??

Now I'm paranoid.

Random Ruby

How about a little Friday Random Letters to...? Sure sounds good to me.

We are 4 (count em 4) days until Christmas Break. Hi. My name is Jen and I've lost my mind. I think I blocked out just how wild and crazy 26 - 6 year olds get when the Holidays approach! Jesus Christmas - I'm looking forward to the crazy stores and loud family gatherings just to have some peace and quiet.

(this is me lately - OUT. OF. MY. EVERLOVING. MIND)

Good news is: I just got word that IF I get done the crap load of stuff I have to get done before the break (oh and I fully intend to) - I can have next Friday off (fingers crossed that no one changes their mind or remembers a forgotten Math Training...Shhhh...). So that in itself puts me in a much better mood. This week was marginally better than last. I've been minding my p's and q's every day. So I guess that is just the way to play it. Scared to death to wander off schedule by a minute - but hey - if it works... I'll live with it.



So without further ado....




Dear Thomas,


Srsly?!?! Srsly? Your tail is NOT out to get you. It will NOT murder you in your sleep. It is not talking smack behind your back. It won't even look at you funny. I promise. Please stop trying to bite it off. I'll be honest here - it kind of freaks me out and it is really gross finding your blood trails on the floor and window sill. Srsly. I am sorry that we've resorted to taping socks on your tail to hide it from you. That's sad.

(Yes, that's a sock)

And pretty freaking funny. The best part is having to buy you a cone (AKA lampshade according to Kim) to prevent you from getting to your tail.







There is NOTHING better than watching/hearing you trying to jump up into the window, hitting the window and falling to the ground. NOTHING brings on the LOLz better than that. But srsly - stop trying to bite it off. You're freaking me out.



And while I'm at it - would you please stop throwing all the books off of the book shelf? Your temper tantrums are getting tiresome.








Caption this pic - Murphy: Honest Mom it was like this when I got here!





Dear Jason,




How freaking hard is it for me to get a picture without a Bud Light bottle/case/logo in it? I have an image to uphold here. I mean really.





Dear Hair,




Can you at least try to do this again (lay flat and look smooth)? You've looked like a rat's nest for two weeks now no matter what I've done. Kinda getting tired of looking like a crazy bag lady with the fly away hair. Just sayin'.






Dear Girls Night,


You were much needed.








Dear Dad,


I heard something the other day that totally made me laugh until I cried. (Good thing to do by the way.) Wanna hear? "Why are 'Great for Dad' gifts always these high tech gadgets? I don't know about your Dad, but mine can barely work a disposable camera." Okay -now in no way am I implying that you can't work a disposable (or digital for that matter) camera - but this thought just cracked me up! I guess I just tried to picture you using all the useless 'must have/time saver gadgets' they try to pawn off every year. Good times. Good times...





Love, Jen

Oh Target...How I Love Thee...

I'm just gonna say it... Target rocks my world.






Srsly.






There is no other store I love going to like I love going to Target. I can't explain it but wondrous things happen at Target. [This is a proven fact.]




I mean really - Nick and I will srsly go to Target and simply walk around for much longer than socially acceptable.




Today's excursion was no exception.






I'll explain...






First - I enter the store to find a grown man (who oddly reminded me a lot of you dad) standing at the magazines. Not too interesting... until I notice that he's fully engrossed in a gossip magazine with Twilight stars plastered all over the cover. I can't even begin to explain how freaking AWESOME this is to me. Maybe it was the fact that he looked a lot like Dad (and I could totally picture dad being all into the gossip mag) - or maybe it was that he was so completely into what he was reading... I may never know. I do know that this sight alone was enough to totally make my day/week. I totally would have taken a picture of this - but I didn't want to startle him. {He was really into it.}




Then I found these:


Now I have been looking for a pair of ballet flats for some time now and I could never figure out why I couldn't find any that looked right. I never could pinpoint the problem... until today.








My freakishly L-O-N-G toes show! I mean srsly - who has toes that long?!? However, I was able to get over my oddity since when I walk my toes kind of scrunch up and don't look as long.

Cute huh? Oh yeah - also - they S-P-A-R-K-L-E. (hehe cause everyone loves things that ...ahem... *cough-Sparkle-cough*...even more-so in the sunlight...)


{Yes my toes are totally 'scrunched up' in there to appear normal.}*


*Not scrunched up in an "ow that hurts" kind of way - don't worry mom.


You know you want a pair.



Next - I found this totally cute collar for Thomas:

On S.A.L.E. for 2 bucks ~ Heck Yeah!




Not that you can tell but it is light blue with little reflective paw prints. The tag said it was for "Active cats" psh... Thomas... Active... riiiigggghhhhtttt... Either way - it's cute.




Sorry for the pic quality. Thomas wouldn't cooperate. Mini E even tried to distract him - FAIL. Thomas tried to EAT him... :( Don't worry your pretty little head though - he survived. Mini E is hardcore.




And Finally - What made it the best trip ever to Target... When we were checking out - the dude in front of us (and by dude I mean late 20 something looking around anxiously) was buying one thing... Breaking Dawn (4th Twilight book). I could have died. Something between the combination of it being the ONLY thing he bought, him being alone and him looking the way he did (all lost, confused and slightly embarrassed) - I almost wanted to hug him! And I think Nick would have let me (heck - I think Nick might have hugged him himself). He was almost as astonished as I was! Again, I could have taken a pic but I didn't want to discourage him from these types of acts.



So all in all - I <3 Target.

The End.

Because we needed a change...and other stuff...

1. We mini re-arranged the living room. We LOVE it now. We were considering a move to Habitat 2000 (same price, 1 more bedroom and bathroom) -but now we are loving our new-found space. (Disregard what's on TV. Something about Michael Jackson, obviously- I was just waiting for Big Brother -duh).

Notice 'Murphy the Shark'? He is such a picture ham - he always manages to be in the shot!

Thomas DID NOT approve (see # 3 for a possible explanation). He decided to hold down the couch in case we decided to move it too. Before he decided to do that he kept walking around yipping and whining at us. Poor Baby.

P.S- That's some kind of shadow in the pic on the right- not a stain.

2. Who needs TV anyway? We have our own entertainment here thankyouverymuch. Thursday Night WWE Smackdown!

You'd think Murphy took this one - but Thomas got the last jab making Murph scream like a little girl!

3. The reason Thomas was NOT amused... we took away his favorite spot.

Which brings me to some sad news... Oscar #2 the fish has passed away. Thomas' # 1 hobby (fish watching) is no longer. He was fine when we got back (thank you - I know that's what you were thinking) but suddenly sunk to the bottom and stopped moving on Tuesday. I don't know what happened. Thomas and I were both traumatized to see him go down the toilet. :(

RIP Oscar #2.

4. Harry Potter Dorks.

In the words of Cheyenne (Veronica's 5 yr old) "Why don't you make them (the t-shirts) say GryffinDORK Quidditch? B/c that's what you are." (Don't you just LOVE children???)

Ummm... there are somethings that can't be explained. 'nuff said.

5. Savannah, Georgia July 2009

Crossing over into Georgia.

Tried to get the "Welcome to Georgia" sign. EPIC FAIL! What the sign said was "We're glad Georgia is on your mind".










The steeple that the feather in Forrest Gump started floating down from.

Paula Deen's restaurant. That line wrapped around the block at 9:00 in the MORNING! For realz. NO food is worth waiting that long for. Sorry Paula. :(





What the??? A Ministry of Magic Visitor's Entrance in Savannah?? Who Knew?!? (Sorry -Harry Potter reference. I pity you if you don't get it. Srsly.)





Also- see that pub next to it? That's the Six Pence Pub (where Julia Roberts looks through the window and sees her husband cheating on her in "Something to Talk About". Cool Huh?






Vampires in SC?? (Not to mention the Sgt. Jasper Square and Emmett Park in Savannah.)


JASPER County in my very own South Carolina?? Swoon!!!! 'nuff said.




There are more pics but I'm tired, it's late and blogger is taking for-freakin'-ever to upload these pics. So that's all for now.