Some Thoughts

My heart is heavy.

The past week has dampened the spirit of an entire nation.  It never ceases to amaze me that the actions of one person can rip apart so many lives.  Can affect so many lives.

I think everything that can be said, has been said.

Tragedy doesn't begin to describe it...

There is something fundamentally wrong society if things like this are allowed to happen...

Was it the parents?

Was it violent video games?

Was it untreated mental illness?  Because I don't think anyone is willing to accept that a sane, healthy person could commit an act so horrendous.  



We will probably never know the why.

My heart is heavy for many, many reasons.  The families and friends affected.  The terrifying last moments of too many innocent lives.  One is too many.  27 is... well there are no words.  The never to be opened Christmas presents.  The loss of dreams for all of those promising futures.

My heart is heavy b/c in what kind of world should I find myself looking around my own classroom and calculating how many students I could cram in my cabinets and bathroom?  Having to lock my door to feel safe in a school.  Finding myself on the constant lookout in public places.  Watching people come in and out of the movie theater for signs of sketchiness.

I now know the name of a small town in Connecticut that I should have never heard of.  I know the names and faces of 27 people, whom I should have never known.

People cry for gun control!   Revoke the right to own weapons!  But I ask you.  When has a law banning something ever made that thing go away?  Hello BLACK MARKET!  All overturning the 2nd Amendment does is strip law abiding citizens of the ability to protect themselves.

Is fighting violence with violence the answer?  No.  But fighting violence with becoming sitting ducks seems pretty counterproductive to me.

People want to blame the school.  The movie theater security.  For a lack of plan in cases such as these.  "If they had a plan for emergencies such as this, he would have never gotten to so many people, never gotten as far as he did", they say.   Let me tell you from the very limited experience I do have with an emergency situation.  The "plan" is the very first thing to go when disaster strikes and we find ourselves in situations we never thought we'd be in.  The plan becomes:  HIDE.  RUN.  LOCK THE DOOR.  PRAY.   Yes.  We need an emergency plan.  Yes.  We must practice and know protocol.  However, we are not trained, specials ops military personnel. When a psychopath comes in shooting, we're all going to do the best we can.  Plan or no plan.

Fighting violence with pointing fingers to blame isn't the answer either.

My heart is heavy.   I certainly don't have the answers.  All I know is that times like these prove time and time again that we must cherish every moment we have.  Love, love and love some more.  Get the most out of each day.  Remember that even in the ashes and rubble of tragedy, there is hope.  There are people who become heroes.  Look at how much love and support has flooded this town!  There is still so much good in the world.  Even when it's hard to see past the evil, keep looking and you'll find it. A glimmer of hope.  Love.   Perfect strangers standing by to lend a hand.   Just look and you'll find it.   It's always there.

Ok.  I'm putting my soapbox away now.

4 months

Four months, while a short time, can seem like a lifetime.  (in a good way)  I can't even imagine what life was like without him.  Although, I do vaguely recall sleep.  Naps, Sleeping through the night.  Sleeping past 5:30am...  Not that I mind.

I could just eat him up.  

Srsly.  

At four months, Aiden:

Rolls over

Talks, coos and SCREAMS!

Laughs

Smiles at anything and everyone.

Eats food!  Sweet potatoes and pears = ok (pears are currently in the lead), bananas = gross

Has so many facial expressions!

Is very interested (nosy) in what's going on around him.

Hates going to sleep.

Loves chewing on his crinkly blocks, hands, feet, anyone holding him, my hair, blankets, anything really...

Drools like a rabid raccoon.

Wakes up once (sometimes twice) at night to eat.

Loves looking at lights and things that light up.

Likes touching my phone to make the screen change.  (and to drool on it.)

Four Month Pictures:

BLOCK!!!!!  I'm going to EAT YOU!!!    Srs playtime. 

Bananas!!!  Not so sure.

Ok.  Maybe not so bad...  (he spit up every bit of them later)

Checking out the cool bib he got from his awesome Aunt Sterling and Uncle Jason.  

Still a dancing fool.  

Phones are tasty.  

I survived my 4 month shots.
And have the Band Aid to prove it.  

Still, one of my favorites.  :)

I Love This Baby.  I Love This Baby.  I Love This Baby.  :)