"The mystery of human existence lies not in just
staying alive but in finding something to live for." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
One
When did this happen?
One whole year from that long, long day (almost two days) when you
leisurely made your way into the world.
How I’d love to rewind. Go back
and cherish all those sleepless nights.
Not worry myself sick every time you cried for more than a few
minutes. How I’d love to go through it
without the fog of having no idea what I was doing. I think I've learned more this year than I
had learned for the 27 years leading up to this one. I learned how to be strong. I learned how to overcome exhaustion,
depression and complete and utter uncertainty in myself. I learned how a fierce love for someone who
is a part of your own Soul changes everything about everything.
I’d give the gas
drops faster. I’d not worry about going
back to work. I’d not worry so much
about daycare. I’d not worry that it was
4 am and I hadn’t slept yet. I’d not
worry that it was 2 am and that you’d already been up for 2 hours. I’d know that being tired can be a way of
life. Heck. You STILL barely sleep. Haha. Well. I’m glad I didn’t know that ahead of
time.
They say a baby changes everything. It’s true.
I never knew true, primal, all encompassing love until I met you. I still marvel at you. I’m certain I will ALWAYS marvel at you. My heart is forever tethered to yours in a
tangible way that I never thought possible.
I now know without any doubt who
I am, what I’m made of and what I can do. I now understand the love that I've had from
my own parents from the beginning. It’s
something you just can’t understand until you KNOW that kind of love. (If I hadn't said it enough - thanks Mom and
Dad. For Everything.)
One Year and as much as I’ve changed, you’ve changed. You walk!
You talk (kind of) and you have more personality than most people I
know. You amaze me every day. You make me laugh. You make me want to scream! You make me smile and you've shown me a love
I didn't know even existed.
I love how you stagger around like a drunk when you’re
walking. I love how you follow us
around. I love how you find things to get into, constantly. I love how when you find me you
squeal with excitement. I love your face when you discover something new. I love your expressions when you make something work...or fall to the floor... I love how to reach for me. How you refuse to wean from breastfeeding. I love giving you security and love and comfort. I love how you
cuddle first thing in the morning. How
you sit so quietly, so still. How you
turn and look at me every so often. Like
there is no place else you want to be.
I know I will always cherish our summer mornings (from early morning walks to cuddles) from this year for the rest of my life.
It’s amazing how fast one year can go by. I wake up every day with a purpose. To give you everything you deserve. I look forward to every morning. To every new day with you.
Happy Birthday, Baby.
We wish you happiness, good health and all the good things life
has to offer.
** Birthday party pictures coming soon! HINT HINT Aunt Sterling! *cough - get on sending those pics -cough* :) <3>
