Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 20

two

**Disclaimer - don't read while eating... or if you just ate... or if you plan on eating ever again...or if you have a weak stomach... heck - you probably should just skip this one all together.

****You've been warned****


I had two...TWO kids throw up in class yesterday. TWO!!! On a HALF DAY!! How does this even happen? I mean talk about breaking records. I don't even want to imagine how many Buuuiiiicks would have been sold - had it been a whole day...

To top it all off - one threw up 3 times before she was settled enough to make it to the nurse.

What's that you ask? Did any of those three times make it to the toilet or trash can?

Negative.

There was definitely no praying to the Porcelain Gods in my classroom yesterday.


The first time was understandable - running to the nearest trashcan with a hand over the mouth, up-chucking as she ran...leaving a pretty gross mess in her wake.

However,
I'm not sure how one can be standing next to the toilet and still manage to spew all over the floor... and all over the sink... and on the wall... (edit: while sober).

But trust. It is possible. My eyes have seen the proof.

Another great mystery to ponder is how soooooo much can come out of such little bodies. Yeah think on that for a minute.

Luckily the 2nd kid managed to wait until it was time to leave before painting my room in vomit. So I could vacate the premises until a better man than me could clean it up.

Srsly though - it was like something out of a horror movie. Just replace the blood splattered everywhere with ... well... you know...


never. in. my. life. have I been so grossed out. never.

Good news is... no one ralphed on my new table skirt (even though both puked very, very close to it) and no one yacked (yakked?) on any personal possessions.

So we're okay. Hopefully we survived the last of the Great Puke Epidemic of 2010 (GPE '10 for short).

Monday, September 27

Dear Paula,



*mutters* ...trying to get me killed...

How's that for a crank face?


Serves you right.  You know how unstable some people are.  You're gonna feel terrible at my funeral.

No Love,
Jen

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Wednesday, September 8

Science Experiment

As you well know...we have our own bathroom in the classroom.

Well each day during lunch our custodian comes in to clean the bathroom.

Today in between lunch and recess a student needed to use the restroom so we stopped on our way past so he could go.

He goes in.  Comes running out.  "Mrs. K****, Mrs. K****!!!  The water is BLUE!  It's BLUE!"

Me:  "What water?!? The toilet water?"

Him:  "Yeah!!"

Me:  "Well, that's ok.  It is just cleaner.  When you flush it will go back to normal. Go ahead and go.  We're using up recess time."

[Mind you - we are still all standing out in the hallway waiting for him to take care of business.]

Him:  [goes back to the bathroom...30 seconds later...]  "Mrs. K***** come LOOK!!!!"

Me:  "um...why... what's wrong?"  [B/c I really don't want to follow a kid in there to 'look' if at all possible.]

Him:  "It's GREEN NOW!!!!"


Magic.  I tell you.  Magic.

So of course just about half the class had to go LOOK at the magic, color changing toilet water.

Lovely.

I suppose it is time to introduce the 'mixing colors to make new colors' concept.

Monday, April 26

This makes my job worth it...

With all the drama at work lately it is a nice to have reminders of why I do what I do.  Kids are priceless.  Their simple, innocent minds are even better. The following randomness took place last week:

I was working at the table with a guided reading group while the rest of the class completed literacy activities at their own pace.  Everyone is working on their own or with a partner to read/discuss stories, the classroom is buzzing with 'active quiet' and things are getting accomplished (no easy feat in a first grade classroom thank you).  All the sudden, "R" comes over sniffling and wiping at his eyes, completely distraught.

Me:  What's wrong??  What happened??!?!

R:  I *sniffle* keep *sniffle* hpwejkpsjfkdh *exasperated sigh*

Me:  Whaaa?  I don't understand.  What happened?

R:  Nothing.  *walks away*

Me:  R! Come here!  I can't understand you baby.  You have to talk to me so I know what's going on.

R:  I just keep *sniffle* thinking about my dskjoshlsk ... *shudders*

Me: *looks around for someone to translate*

G:  I think he said he is thinking about his DS.

Me:  ?!?  Okay?  What about your DS?  Did you bring it here and lose it?

R:  *whimpers* noooooo

Me:  Okay?  Where is it?

R:  At hoooome.  *pouts*

Me: Okay?  Did you break it?

R:  Nooooooo. *sigh*

Me:  Did you get it taken away?

R: Nooooo.  *sniffle*

Me:  I don't understand.  What's the problem?

R: I. Was. Just. Thinking. About. It.  and I remembered *sobs the rest of this* I forgot to turn it offfffffff!!!!  *big crocodile tears emerge at this point*

Me:  Okay?  But can't you plug it in and charge it?

R:  Yeeeaaahhh but kjoisdhfsodfjds *still sobbing on my shoulder*

Me:  I. Don't. Understand.  If you can plug it in and charge it, why are you upset?  You can play while it charges right?

R:  Yeeaaaahh.  *hiccup*

Me:  So it will be okay...

R:  lkjoahoijoijadf (something that sounds vaguely like he won't be able to move around if it's plugged in.)

Me:  It'll be alright.  I promise.  *pats him on his back and begins cleaning the tears/snot off my shirt - soooo glad I recently cut my hair*

R: Okay.  *steadies himself* Okay.   *shakes it off and goes back to work*

Me:  ?!?

Okay.  What I wanted to explain to this spoiled rotten whippersnapper (said with love) - is that when I was his age - we had Nintendo.


Straight up OLD SCHOOL Nintendo.  

Wires and all.  With game cartridges that were bigger than his entire DS.  Game cartridges that you had to blow into so they would work.  We had games where Mario runs to the right, breaks bricks and jumps over stuff.  The concept of a 3D Mario world did not exist.   The concept of any kind of 3D game world did not exist.   We had games where you used a plastic gun (with a wire), stood one foot in front of the TV and shot ducks that flew up out of the bushes and when you missed them a dog came up out of the bushes and laughed at you (trust.  I was a terrible shot).  


There he is.  Hey old friend.  Good Times.  Good Times.

There was no such thing as a handheld touch screen for children's video games.  There was no concept of wireless.  There was also no concept of walking around and/or playing in the car, outside or anywhere but 2 feet in front of the TV.  We had to sit on the floor to play b/c the cords didn't reach the couch.  And. It. Was. Heaven.  




When did I get so old??!??!?  *sad face*

But srsly thanks to "R" for reminding me why it is that I do what I do.  I can deal with the BS and politics if in return I can surround myself with these sweet babies everyday (well...most days...they're not always so sweet and innocent...).   ;)



*images found via google images

Wednesday, March 3

Thomas is ignoring me...


*censored version

He was facing the other way until I sat down on the couch....

*sighs* anyway...

Pet Peeve #3


People who only refer themselves as Mrs. [insert last name here].

I mean really? Really!??!? Just WHO do you think you are? I just don't get it. I don't know why people think they need to try to intimidate each other.  And really it's just annoying.

Tuesday, December 1

Sarcasm and LOLcatz

B/c sometimes it's the only way. Since I have nothing nice to say today:



For Jason (another take on men who 'look at sheep')


Thomas?
Oh, how I wish...


For people in power positions who shouldn't be...




Truth...

Saturday, October 3

Some days... I feel like this...


and this...








Warning: This post is pure randomness.




Is it too soon to start the Christmas Break countdown? It might be better if there wasn't so much sicknesses going around.





Thomas BIT me. Yes I know it looks like he scratched me...but srsly - he bit me. Guess he didn't like my hateful school parent story. Now it is all bruised and gross looking.









Does this look bad? I don't know what bit me here. I thought it was a mosquito bite but they don't hurt and spread like that. Hmmmm... prob gonna die from this.









As much as it pains me to say this.... Mooooooooooovvvvvvveeeee over Twilight. I have a new obsession. I know right? Say it ain't so...



You must read The Hunger Games and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. Wow. All I'm sayin'. You'll laugh, you'll cry and you'll fall in love. Srsly. Waaaaaayyyy more action than the entire Twilight series. Now I have to wait a freaking YEAR for the final book in the series to come out... Oh well. I survived years of waiting for the HP books. I suppose I can survive one year for this. Even though the bites on my arm might kill me before then... :(





Lastly - just for the LOLz.

Words of Wisdom


We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some are broken, some are whole, some have weird names, and all are different colors.... but they all learn to live in the same box.

~Unknown