Love

Today is Anti-Gay-Bullying Spirit Day. (wear purple...I did.)

A 13 year old in California committed suicide because he was bullied for being (allegedly) gay.

A Rutgers student jumped off of a bridge to his death after his roommate illegally video taped him with another guy and broadcast it on the internet.

4 other people have committed suicide in as many months because of homophobic bullying.

Agree or disagree... "right" or "wrong" ... either way - this bullying and violence has to stop.

People are people.

Love is love.

Everyone deserves a life.

Regardless of what you believe.

untitled

Still picking up the pieces...

Always.

**Images from google images and weheartit.com

So TRUE

From Criminal Minds...

I'm thankful for my years spent with this family, for everything we shared, every chance we had to grow. I'll take the best of them with me and lead by their example wherever I go. 


A friend told me to be honest with you, so here it goes: this isn't what I want, but I'll take the high road. Maybe it's because I look at everything as a lesson or because I don't want to walk around angry. Or maybe it's because I finally understand. There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept; things we don't want to know but have to learn; and people we can't live without but have to let go.


True and fitting.  

Starting over

Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year, it’s an event —big or small, something that changes us, ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.

~Grey's Anatomy

I've decided I'm ready.  Ready to start a new year (b/c that was coming whether I was ready or not).  Ready to move on.  Ready to let go of old feelings and bitterness and anger.  Ready to not let other people make me question my worth.  

I can't go into this year dreading what may come.  

I can't go into this year with a chip on my shoulder. 

It is way too heavy to carry around.  

And really it's just not worth it.

I can't.  And I won't.  

So I'm not.  

[Forgive them even if they are not sorry]

Not to say that there won't be things that are said or done that will bring me down.  But I've decided that no matter what - I know who I am and what I can do.  

I won't let others (especially someone who doesn't even know me outside of work) interfere with my self-worth, personal happiness, outlook on life or general well-being. 

I like my co-worker B's thought on this:  (I'm paraphrasing)  They don't give me my happiness.  They won't take it away.

Positive Thinking

Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts.  It's what you do with what you have left.  

~Hubert Humphrey

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.  

~Confucius

Some days there won't be a song in your heart.  Sing anyway.  

~Emory Austin

Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on.

~ Forest Gump

Also this:

*images from www.weheartit.com

Words to Live By

Life is too short to wake up with regrets,

so love the ones who treat you right,

forget the ones who don't,

and believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance, take it.

If it changes your life, let it.

~unknown

For Dad

I don't remember much from that day...

I don't remember where exactly we were.   It was a lake somewhere (I want to say somewhere in Virginia).

I don't remember what year it was.  We were little.

I don't remember why we were there.

But I do remember all of us playing in the water.

You picking us up, throwing us up in the air and into the water.  And I remember feeling so happy.


I may not remember much from that day...

but it is still one of the best days of my life.

Happy Father's Day.  I'm so lucky to be your daughter.

I love you.  Always.

"Freedom is never free."

A Joke:

From:  http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/awesome_senior_moment_002477.html?awt_l=FQnIV&awt_m=1dmmSZ3_HIB9bL

Here's a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent inter-action between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a Metro station in DC. There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets, on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one. The elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice the young lady said, "Lady, don't you care about the children of Iraq?" The old woman looked up at her and said, "Honey,  my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea, and a son in Vietnam. All three died so you could have the right to stand here and badmouth our country. If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your a** and open it." A Quote: It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you.  ~ M. Grundler A Thought:  *drags soapbox to the podium* It's easy to forget or confuse just how much the members of the US Military do and have done so that we can continue living in ways that we are accustomed to.  It is always important to remember that "freedom is never free".  It's not free for those fighting to keep our freedom intact.  It's not free for the families and loved ones carrying on at home, waiting for their return.  It's definitely not free for those who give their lives and the families who must carry on knowing their loved one is never coming home.   You may not agree with the politics and you may not agree with war in general - but you better stand up and support those who are out there giving their all, sometimes their lives to keep our country free.  That's the very least you can do.  *steps off soapbox* And just because I like this: If you can read this, thank a teacher.  If it's in English, thank a soldier. *** This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.  ~Elmer Davis Happy Memorial Day!   To all of those who continue to fight and for those who have given their lives for our freedom and our country.  I love you Dad.   I'm proud to be your daughter today and everyday.

I survived

thanks to Mom for coming and packing up my room while I did a lot of last minute paperwork, running around and records.


I have no other words for now.  Just chilling out and taking a breather.  Be back soon.  I promise.

Is it possible to drown in paperwork?

Because I feel like it is quite possible lately.  I feel like I am already gasping for air.

I have so much current paperwork (i.e. not clutter, unnecessary or irrelevant paperwork) to do that I had to move off of my desk and to the much larger table to spread it out so I can see what I have and know where everything is.  Everything on this table has to be (oh and it will be) completed, scored, ranked, made into a matrix spreadsheet and/or otherwise dealt with by Monday.

Most of it will be done by tomorrow.  The sad thing is this isn't even EVERYTHING.  *sighs*  The really bad thing is...this is actually laid out in an actual order that works and makes sense to me.  This is not a chaos paper explosion (even though I know that's what it looks like).

Alright I'm going to quit stalling.  I brought half of it home with me...

Happy Mother's Day

Growing up I'd always thought my mom's whole purpose in life was to be my mom. That's how she made me feel.


~ N. Wagner


P.S.- You still make me feel like that.  

To the Best Mom a girl could hope for,

Even though we don't live in the same house or even the same city anymore...I know you're always there for me.

Happy Mother's Day!  I love you.  Today and every day.

Battling on...

We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.  

~John Updike

When life takes the wind out of your sails, it is to test you at the oars. 

 ~Robert Brault

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.  ~African Proverb



That was rough.... Thing to do now is try and forget it.... I guess I don't quite mean that.  It's not a thing you can forget.  Maybe not even a thing you want to forget.... Life's like that sometimes... Now and then for no good reason a man can figure out, life will just haul off and knock him flat, slam him against the ground so hard it seems like all his insides are busted.  


But it's not all like that.  A lot of it's mighty fine, and you can't afford to waste the good part frettin' about the bad.  That makes it all bad.... 


Sure, I know - sayin' it's one thing and feelin' it's another.  But I'll tell you a trick that's sometimes a big help.  When you start lookin' around for something good to take the place of the bad, as a general rule you can find it.  


~ Old Yeller

We must try not to sink beneath our anguish... but battle on. 

 ~J.K. Rowling

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.  

~William Shakespeare

Some quotes, some thoughts and maybe even a smile...

A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?

-Marley and Me

* * * * *

Don´t wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don´t. In the face of what we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that makes us hold it together.

-Grey's Anatomy

I know mine is my support system.  I feel sorry for people who don't have one.  

* * * * *

But as hard as it is, I know I can't sit and stew over it.  That will only bring me down even more.  

A sad soul can kill you quicker, far quicker, than a germ.

- John Steinbeck

I don't want a sad soul.  

* * * * * 

All through history, there have been tyrants, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall, always.

-Gandhi  

One can hope this still holds true.  I'm just not sure how long I can wait.  

* * * * * 

Ok - srs bsns (serious business for those who don't speak text) over.  Random funnies and smiles from this week:

Meeting Nick at a restaurant for dinner one night this week:  He walks up to the car and when he got close to my door starts laughing.  


Nick:  We're twins.


Me:  ?  WTF are you talking about... *mumbles* weirdo

Nick:  We're TWINS.  *gesturing at himself while talking like speaking to a two year old*

Me:  ?  *gives him a 'you're retarded' look* (yeah I realize I'm the retarded one)

Nick:  Green and blue?

Me:  *Looks down at what I'm wearing* (navy slacks, green cardigan)

Nick:  (navy slacks, exactly the same shade of green polo)

Me:  Oh crap.  This is so not cute.

* * * * * 

Jason sending me random texts during the day telling me that he still has my spot saved for me as assistant weed-eater.  (We're still working on the salary negotiations.)

* * * * * 

Jason sending me random picture messages about beer and heartburn.  

"Heartburn in 0-6 beers LOL"


Love it.  


* * * * *

Coming home to find this:

Gerber Daisies (my most favy favoritest flower?!? yes I just made up a new word), Reese's Peanut Butter Cups AND Whoppers (not pictured).  Squeeeee!!!  I have the sweetest husband ever.  Even if he was forewarned by my Bestie that I was having the worst day of my life.  Even if he is totally ghetto and put the floral arrangement in a makeshift vase (half gallon milk carton with the top cut off) b/c he couldn't find the vase that would fit the arrangement.  What can you do when you only have an hour long lunch break?  Makes it even sweeter in my book.  :) 

* * * * * 

Thomas - the laziest cat in existence.

He's been in that spot since noon.  It's now 10:00.  I also love the position.  Thomas - the epitome of modesty.   ( and no - that's not a bug on the wall - it's a nail...)

* * * * * 

I found this book the other day at Target

Did you see what's written at the top?

Yeah. I'm pathetic.  

And yeah.  It's another teen fiction.  So I'm really, really pathetic. 

But it's totally good.  And sad.

A depressing book about death.  
I should probably be reading something happy right about now.  

* * * * *

 The following was confiscated from one of my sweet darlings on the playground this week: 

Dear ----

I know that we was (*teacher me cringes*) not being nice to you.  So we are try *cringes again* to say that I am sorry.  But today I will be sure that I know that you don't like me.  But I like you. I know that is *proud mama - he used the correct proofreading mark!!!*  a lot of people like you.  But I need you to like me.  I'm the best drawer in my class. But what do you want.  I will give ... *left in suspense*  (to be honest I don't think I want to know what the rest of that was going to say...)

Call:  ----  (yes the full phone number is there - area code and all)

I'm also not sure who the 'we' is in the beginning.  But wow.  That definitely brought out a srs LOL yesterday afternoon.  

* * * * * 

We were at the grocery store looking at dried beans.   Nick was trying to decide which beans to get to make his 'Bean Soup' with the rest of the ham that was frozen after Easter:

Nick: Navy Beans or these beans?

Me:  *shrugs having no idea or opinion since I. Don't. Cook.*  I don't know.  I say go with the Navy beans.  Since I'm a Navy girl and all.  

Nick:  Well I guess you could say we're both Navy girls.  

Me:  *crickets*... you're a Navy GIRL?  *snicker*

Nick:  Yeah...*realization dawns*  I mean BRATS.... we're both Navy Brats. 

Me:  LOLOLOLOLOLOL... this is soooooooo going on the blog.  (even though I did have to explain that the term navy "brat" actually means moving around from base to base as a child... regardless...we're now both Navy girls.)

  

No words

I have no words for today.  Nope.  None.  So here are some words from other people.

Language ahead.

from ruminations.com...

Let's stop with the "It was too short" response when talking about your weekend or vacation. We get it - working sucks and not working is awesome. Move on.

What the hell is the permanent press option on the dryer? Sounds serious, I'll tell you that.

Red nail polish makes you look chic for the 27 seconds until it chips, and then you instantly look like a street whore.

You know you're in a slump when you go on facebook and can't think of anyone to stalk.

I judge friendship based on how far I can go to insult a friend. Say, I am only able to call you a douchebag, then you're likely to be just an acquaintance, but if I call your mom a whore and you find it hilarious, then you're like a brother to me.  [LOL - I love you mom]

Why does the Easter Bunny give out Easter eggs? Bunnies are mammals and they definitely do not lay eggs.

I don't know why the hell people even bother coming in to the office on Fridays, because all we do is spend the day plotting how early we can get out of here.

Hey guy at toilet paper factory who puts glue on the flap to hold it down, less is more.

There's nothing worse than being the last person to sign the birthday card for a random employee in the office. There are only so many ways to pretend that I care about your birthday and they have all been taken.

"I really love my Blackberry, but I have a lot of trouble with the trackball." Hm, perhaps if you stop pressing it in like you're trying to crush the phone's larynx, that wouldn't happen. No wonder you suck at Brickbreaker.  [DUDE -  Maybe that's my problem!  I'm coming for you Jason and I will beat you...eventually]

I now know what it must be like as a fly repeatedly flying into a window. It's the same as when I enter my password over and over to no avail and not notice the caps lock is on.

Moving is the best excuse ever to devour everything in my kitchen. Remaining items: 8 beers, 2 frozen pizzas, half a pack of string cheese, pickles, cashews, box of thin mints. Nights left: 1. I got this.

I'm pretty sure I have never answered honestly when someone asks "So, what are you thinking?" Nobody needs to know that shit. 

For the sake of people's jobs, there should be an "are you sure" prompt when you hit "reply all"!

When food products refer to homemade recipes they"ll depict a perfect grandmother. Just once I wanna see a crabby old lady smacking her grandkids with a wooden spoon, yelling, and the slogan would be, "That bitch was crazy, but her soup kicked ass."

Even if I know exactly where I screwed up when typing in a password, I always erase the entire thing and start over. 

As soon as I realize the absolute latest minute I can get up for work and still make it on time - I'll never get up a second earlier.

Dear brain, let's please understand the distinction between angry and sad. Tears go with sad, please stop making my angry tangents completely pointless. Thanks.

I hate when a store asks if I want to donate $1 to some obscure, unnecessary charity as I'm standing at the register. No, I don't care to donate to the "Blankets for Polar Bears" organization, but now I have to so I don't look like a cheap ass. 

What are you? Dumb? Everybody knows the word dude is gender neutral. 

LOLcats/dogs

Alright to the serious business now...

Rly though...do you believe me NOW?!?!  If only the 'higher-ups' believed me/us now.

*sighs*  'playing the game' at work...  not fun.  Nothing like swallowing your pride and dignity all at once.

srsly.

If you need me...I'll be trying to find my inner peace.