Sweet Victory

*commences happy dance*

It only took 20 some odd years since Jason declared that the Saints had to be my team since I just happened to be born in New Orleans - but Sweet Justice prevailed - "MY" Saints are going to the Super Bowl. Woo Hoo!

I don't even care if they win. B/C win or lose - they're going. And That's All That Matters. In. Yo. Face. Jason... And all the other haters *cough-Veronica & Nick & Everyone I work with-cough*... And all those pesky Bills fans...

*resumes In YO Face dance*

I've never been more excited to be the only Non-New Englander/Northerner in my family. ;-)

Sorry Patriots (i.e. - Tom Brady) I still love you. Just a little less now.

TGIF Randomness

Dear, Sweet Friday. I thought you would never come. Srsly. I was beginning to worry. I thought perhaps you'd left me forever. I'm so glad you found me again old friend. I missed you.

TGIF Randomness

1. I needed to break out the memory card in my camera to send a parent some pics of her kid's b-day class party tonight. Which turns out was waaay more interesting than I'd originally thought it would be b/c I found a lot of pics I didn't know (well to be honest- had forgotten) I had.



So first - I give you camera (and camera phone) randomness...



What a goober. And just LOOK at Thomas. See! He stares at Jason in an adoring manner too. Ok not really - he's probably plotting to lay and shed all over his 500 thread count comforter and then pee on it. - Nah actually - Thomas is just thinking "This shiz is hockO sticks. WHY does everyone keep taking pictures of me?!? And look at this crazy mother f***er right here [jen note: ahem... censor that -I like to keep it clean] ... crazy nutzo beside me. WTF?"

And speaking of Jason - Who Else would get it in their head to WAIT to start shopping for the FIRST Christmas present until 2 days before (which in turn made it so I had to postpone some of my own shopping)? And you KNOW how I L-O-V-E traffic. Yeah. This isn't even the worst of it. At least I had a legit excuse to drive like a psycho. [silver lining baby]

and what?!? Did I capture the all-elusive-picture-phobe Nick? I think I did. amazing.

The BEST. PART. EVER of shopping with Jason?

The Vest.

I mean this pic doesn't even begin to do the 2 sizes too small vest justice. Not. Even. Close. First of all - I talked him in to trying it on in the middle of the store. Second- it was all "fat boy in a little coat". I don't think I've EVER laughed that hard in a public place -not even caring that Jason was mortified (probably b/c it was all he could do to get the vest OFF since I was no help - Hey! Laughter can be debilitating) and everyone was staring at us trying to figure out why I was gasping-for-air-rolling-on-the-floor-dying-of-laughter-in-the-middle-of-the-store. Good Times I tell you. Good times.

Kate!!!

You always make my heart happy. No questions asked. I heart finding pics of you on my camera.

Thomas the Devil Cat.

Missy - you might have a point.

Irony=the borrowed Left Behind book is separated from the mountain of books Thomas chose throw/swat/kick onto the ground and then perch upon like it would burn him or something. [jen note: sorry Mrs. Phillips - I do treat your possessions with care - it's Thomas who has NO respect]

Proof

I mean that's some creepy horror movie PURE EVIL right there

"I'll eat your soul"

2. Kid funnies. Again.
Yes, I had them write to explain why they were in trouble. You'd think I'd be tired of this crap by now and that I wouldn't get a kick out of getting them to document their thinking. You'd be wrong my dear sweet naive friend. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I just like reading their reasoning. It really has nothing to do with punishing them - b/c to be honest it brings me serious LOLz. They never disappoint. Shhhh...just don't tell them.

Since I Fail at life using the scanner and these f-ers scanned really small and grainy- I'll read and translate:

I was not on green because I was talking in line. An(d) something else. I just don't remember.
When I have a kid....I want him to be as cool as this one. Srsly.
I didn't Want to Do math. time. But Next time I will. Do it. and I was playing With my coat

I don't know about you... but this one kinda makes me feel like I SUCK at teaching. I mean with as many periods he has in there - you'd THINK at least one of them would have found its way to the end of the sentence. Just a thought.




I was talking to the monitor. I telled on -----. I should not tell on nobody. I am sorry. I am in first grade. I am a big girl. I am a big girl.

What. The. Fu WTF?!? She's f-ing with me right!??! She totally STOLE my motto.

How did she KNOW that I sit in front of my mirror EVERY MORNING and give myself this pep talk: "You are a strong, confident woman. You can handle anything life throws at you today. You are smart, funny and you are rocking that crazy f-ed up hair style. You go girl. You are a first grade teacher. You are a big girl. You ARE a big girl. Big as in grown. Don't get a complex. Go get 'em tiger. You are a winner. Everyone wishes they could be 1/2 as cool as you."


No but srsly. How did she know??

Now I'm paranoid.

Blah...Blah...Blah...

Life is boring this week.

I am desperately trying to finish reading Lovely Bones so I can finally watch the movie. It's no Twilight. All I'm sayin. I mean it's good. Just not grab you by your heart and suck you in -good.

I discovered this morning that while I make every effort to obey the speed limits in the school zones (even though I will inevitably run someone down one day since I am paying soooo much attention to my speedometer not going above 25mph - which is soul-murderingly slow btw) and speed traps on my way to work each morning - I always end up flying through my own school zone careening into the parking lot on two wheels and skidding to a stop in my parking space (most likely to make up for lost time). I wonder why that is. I came to this realization this morning only after I followed a higher up into the parking lot. I found myself thinking 'who is this maniac flying through the school zone?!? who does she think she is?!?! ... oh." So I guess I don't feel too bad about speeding through my school zone anymore (not that I ever really did, now I feel justified).

In light of the millions of charts I have to use each day (sigh - my heart hurts for all the trees we've killed) to write down so the kids can 'refer back to it when they need it', I taught my kids the fine art of abbreviation. My six year olds now can (and do) write "b/c, cyl (cylinder), rec prism (rectangular prism), ww (wall word), wf (word family), idk (i don't know), #w (number word), and many others. I'm probably messing them up - but nothing is funnier then when you find an unexpected abbreviation in a test or in the middle of a story they wrote. I like to think that I am preparing them for the 21st century -you know - a future with lots of texting.

Oh yeah, how's this for exciting? We had a wonderfully informative meeting [insert SARCASM font] about using the calendar software that comes with our email. How excited was I to spend 2 hours in a meeting learning the fine features that are available and waiting for me to utilize? Very. *rolls eyes* So what did I do this morning when I had nothing better to do with my time[SARCASM font again]? Oh yeah - I filled in my calendar for the next four months. And color coded it. Jealous? You are.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night to find Thomas sitting on my chest like a statue - staring at me. C-R-E-E-E-E-E-E-P-Y-to the max. I can't decide if he was gazing lovingly at me thinking about how awesome I am and how much he adores me - or if he was simply plotting where to scratch/bite me next or if he was trying to work out whether or not he could pee in my hair without me noticing. This IS Thomas we're talking about.

So that's been my boring life for the last few days. Now you know. I know you were wondering.

Oh best part? I woke up this morning to discover that Murphy threw up in the hallway. How did I discover it? By stepping in it with my bare foot of course. Best. Way. Ever. to start the day. Trust.

January Lull

Ahh...January...what to do with you? You are the best month for a teacher - since this is the only month of the year when my kids actually are fully invested in learning and not hyped up by some kind of holiday or other random celebration. But you are also the longest, boringest month. I have no true vacation in sight until the end of March. I know *ducks* stop throwing stuff at me - most jobs don't have set 'vacations' like mine. But still...



January... how I love thee... but how I also hate thee...



All the Christmas hype is over and I am stuck looking forward to a lack of possible winter weather (gotta love the south and the once a year snow flurries and/or 1/2 inch of snow/sleet) and Valentines Day (can you tell I'm not your typical commercial girlie girl?).



I do however love the cold. I love wearing long sleeved shirts, sweaters, and knee high socks. How weird?!? I know.



I don't however love getting into a COLD car in the morning/scraping ice off the windows/or taking the dog out first thing in said FREEZING COLD mornings (since January and February are the COLDEST freaking months here).

Lately it has been entirely too cold here. I mean come on - 16 degrees is simply too much when there is no promise of snow or school closings. Come on now - this is South Carolina. Not Antarctica. I mean - I've taken to wearing a sweater and two coats just to drive the 5 minutes to work each day. Do you know how hard it is to move when you are wearing a thick sweater, a fleece jacket, a pea coat, a scarf and gloves?!? Very.

Any way - today is Thursday, so that is good. Tomorrow is Friday, so that is better. Monday is a holiday, so that makes it manageable. I know my weekend activities will include a blanket and some warm jammies.


Try not to freeze to death. That would be tragic.

Truths and other Funnies...again...

For your enjoyment and LOLz - from my most favy fav site: ruminations.com

You don't have to keep telling me, "Dude, I'm so drunk." I know what drunk looks like and you're not it. See Phil over there hitting on the coat rack? That's drunk.

Why do I feel like I have to hit the clear button on my calculator like 8 times before I am confident that it's actually cleared?

I'd be so annoyed if someone constantly lifted me up without warning, carried me a short distance, touched my hair, and then put me down in a random spot. I guess that's why cats are so bitchy.

So much pressure being a grown-up. Sometimes I just want to build a tent in my living room, bring my favorite toys, and stay in there the rest of the day. (sounds like a good plan...care to join me?)

When I walk out of a store without buying anything, I feel like I'll be stopped for thievery at any minute. Am I walking too fast? Are my hands in the right place? Are my eyes shifty? Oh yeah. Didn't steal anything.

I'd be much more inclined to purchase a home security system if they offered a moat and drawbridge package. And yes, I would be interested in the angry alligator option.

Who needs a dictionary anymore? I just type words into google and see if it corrects me.

Does anybody ever consider actually using bing or yahoo? I don't care if they are better abled to find what I am looking for, but I will never let google down.

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on facebook people that I do know, but i deliberately choose not to be friends with?

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat."

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

Extended time off from school absolutely destroys my sleeping schedule. (tell me about it)

I really wish that body hair would get the hint and stop growing back after the first 10 shaves.

Dead is a bit too morbid of a term to describe a cell phone that has lost its charge. My phone is currently taking a nap. Back in action soon.

You know you're good friends with someone when they say something that makes no sense at all and you still know what they meant. (sounds familiar...)

May God have mercy on your soul if you wake me up even 30 seconds before my alarm clock is set to go off in the morning.

Sure, I'd love to join you in strapping two planks to my feet and hurling my clumsy ass down an icy mountain unprotected at top speeds. I see this ending well.

A light came on in my car for my airbag. I'm not sure what it means or how to fix it, but I now live in fear that it will deploy at any second and I will be impaled by my Slurpee straw.

Sometimes I make my dog sit through those sad as hell "adopt a pet commercials". Just to remind him how good he has it.

At this point, I'm beginning to think Hell is the only place that hasn't frozen over. (srsly - I thought I lived in the south WTF?)

There are few things as sweet as a canceled meeting. (Ain't that the freaking gods honest truth- although a snow day would be pretty sweet too right about now)

The most awkward 1.5 minutes of life is while being sung your Happy Birthday song. Where are you supposed to look?

Some people say I have an obsessive personality, but after hundreds of hours of research spanning several years, I can find no conclusive evidence supporting this. (me obsessive??? never...)