Truths

From ruminations.com

If there is a way to say the word "obviously" without sounding like a douche, I have not heard it yet.

Nothing is more confusing than to get a text that says " I am going to kill you! LOL"

On Jeopardy, if Alex Trebek asks you a question when he meets the contestants and you start your story with.."While on a safari". I automatically hope you lose. 

I used to believe grown ups didn't need naps. I also used to believe 24 was grown up.

Sometimes I don't even know when I'm being sarcastic.

Whenever I go into the supply room at work I get irrationally excited. New pens? A staple remover? Binder clips? Jackpot!

Springing forward has always sucked, but it was less confusing before half the clocks in my house updated automatically.

There needs to be a setting in G-chat somewhere between "busy" and "available." It could say "I'm not being rude and ignoring you, I just get distracted easily."

Nothing indicates a good Playstation game like an Epilepsy warning.

No, I'm not "done sleeping." In fact, I will never be done sleeping, I'm merely taking a break in order to earn money so that I may keep my bed in it's current, climate-controlled location.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

I wish it were appropriate to say to a complete stranger, "Excuse me, would you like me to show you how to discipline your child?"

Because of my horrific memory, at almost any time, I can be made to feel unsure of something I was previously certain about.