Back to School

Back to school.  Back to school, to prove to dad that I'm not a fool.  I got my lunch packed up.  My boots tied tight.  I hope I don't get in a fight...

- Billy Madision

*sighs*  

Vacation time is over.  

It's okay though.  I'm ready for the 2nd half of the year.  I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.  (If you keep telling yourself something, it becomes true right? I think so.)  

Sunday Funnies 

Truths

* from ruminations.com

It doesn't matter if I've been there or not. I'm 100% convinced that where I'm from is better than wherever you're from.  

Some co-workers tried and failed at brewing beer, so they came to me for advice. Look, just cause I was hammered at the last company event doesn't mean I know everything about beer. That being said, I've done this before, and I know what's wrong. 

I never know what to do when the repairman is fixing stuff in my house. Do I follow him around like a lost puppy, pretending to be interested? Or do I stay in my room, hiding out of the shame of not knowing how to fix it myself?
 

Despite all my education, I think the most important lesson I've learned is to never buy a bathroom cabinet with a mirror that opens...because we all know when you close it there is gonna be a super creepy weirdo/psycho/monster behind you.

I scared my pets awake this morning because I was jealous they were still fast asleep in my bed while I was up getting ready...it was the mature thing to do. 

I think everyone has that moment of sheer terror when their line of thinking goes from "where did I park my car?" to "did someone steal my F**king car?!?"

Even though I know the Titanic sinks, there is always a part of me during the scene when they are trying to turn the ship that hopes they make it. 

The best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have.

I don't get people who buy expensive wine. While I'd enjoy a $50 bottle of wine, I'd enjoy five bottles of $10 wine a whole lot more.

I like to think that if my dog was able to use a computer, his password for everything would be my name followed by random numbers. 

I can't help but feel superior when one of my friends sends out a mass email and my name is at the top of the list. Obviously, I'm their favorite friend.  [Obviously.]

The only thing worse than shopping for the person who already has everything is shopping for the person who doesn't want anything... dad.  [OMG I SWEAR I did NOT write this one!]