two

**Disclaimer - don't read while eating... or if you just ate... or if you plan on eating ever again...or if you have a weak stomach... heck - you probably should just skip this one all together.

****You've been warned****

I had two...TWO kids throw up in class yesterday. TWO!!! On a HALF DAY!! How does this even happen? I mean talk about breaking records. I don't even want to imagine how many Buuuiiiicks would have been sold - had it been a whole day...

To top it all off - one threw up 3 times before she was settled enough to make it to the nurse.

What's that you ask? Did any of those three times make it to the toilet or trash can?

Negative.

There was definitely no praying to the Porcelain Gods in my classroom yesterday.

The first time was understandable - running to the nearest trashcan with a hand over the mouth, up-chucking as she ran...leaving a pretty gross mess in her wake.

However,

I'm not sure how one can be standing next to the toilet and still manage to spew all over the floor... and all over the sink... and on the wall... (edit: while sober).

But trust. It is possible. My eyes have seen the proof.

Another great mystery to ponder is how soooooo much can come out of such little bodies. Yeah think on that for a minute.

Luckily the 2nd kid managed to wait until it was time to leave before painting my room in vomit. So I could vacate the premises until a better man than me could clean it up.

Srsly though - it was like something out of a horror movie. Just replace the blood splattered everywhere with ... well... you know...

never. in. my. life. have I been so grossed out. never.

Good news is... no one ralphed on my new table skirt (even though both puked very, very close to it) and no one yacked (yakked?) on any personal possessions.

So we're okay. Hopefully we survived the last of the Great Puke Epidemic of 2010 (GPE '10 for short).